how could McSweeney's NOT have published this list?

Why You Should Never Choose the Letter D in Multiple Choice Quizzes: Actual Multiple Choice Questions and Their D Answers From a High School History Book

The use of fire by early humans reminds us that

D. they were cold all the time.

By the time of Darius, the Persian kings had created

D.. hundreds of varieties of the game of checkers.

In Athens, by the mid-fifth century BC., every male citizen

D. broke pottery

The emperor kept the poverty-stricken masses pacified by

D. building the world’s largest Ferris wheel.

Between the Tang and Ming dynasties, Chinese literature flourished because

D. people were bored

Muslim rulers in India were tolerant of Hindus because

D. the Hindus made the best cooks.

Elections for city council in medieval cities were often

D. a way for felons to move up in society.

Part of Calvin’s reformation of the city of Geneva included

D. requiring all citizens to cut cabbage

In 1528, Baldassare Castiglione wrote The Book of the Courtier, which

D. taught a new type of recreational badminton.

Parents in Renaissance Italy carefully arranged marriages, often to

D. have attractive in-laws.

Who initiated construction of the Imperial City in Beijing?

D. Lo Mien

Mein Kampf was

D. a dadaist photomontage by Marilyn Monroe that commented on women’s roles.

Challenged by President Kennedy in 1961, massive government funding and leaps in research and technology enabled the United States by 1969 to

D. create a wide-screen TV for a price under $5,000.